Tag Archives: parodies

My Saturday Plans

15 Sep
Obi Haan Kenobi grout kit

The great Obi Haan Kenobi sent me some gear to prepare for the arrival of Ma Jaracz.

 

(sung to the tune of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”)

 

You better not shout

You better clean up

You better scrub grout

And wash all of those cups

Ma Jaracz is coming to town

 

She’ll walk through the house

To tell if it looks nice

Though she can’t really see

She’ll know if there are mice

Ma Jaracz is coming to town

 

She sees the books are dusty

She knows you don’t wash walls

She’ll run her finger over the shelf

And she’ll really be appalled

 

You better not shout

You better clean up

You better scrub grout

And wash all of those cups

Ma Jaracz is coming to town

Are You Singing the MBTA’s New Anthem?

11 Feb

If you watch The Weather Channel, you may know that New England has been slammed with snow this year. We’ve had two major snowstorms and one blizzard that have dumped over 72″ of snow on Boston in the last 30 days, and on Thursday we’re supposed to get another storm. You know you’ve had a lot of snow when you think, 4-6″ is on its way? That’s nothing!

Beyond the question of where to put it, the snow has caused all kinds of frustrations for commuters because as the Boston Globe nicely explained, the MBTA, our mass transit agency, has outdated equipment that’s constantly breaking down, thanks to powdery snow that gets sucked into the motor, melts and shorts out the electrical system. On top of that you have switches that freeze up and don’t function. This can affect both inbound and outbound trains because–get this–on the commuter rail, there are portions, particularly around stations, where there’s only one shared track. The switches are vital, and if they don’t work, trains get stuck.

It’s so bad that on Monday night, the MBTA finally threw up their hands and said they’re shutting down the entire system for at least a day so that they can try to fix it. This, of course, is causing all kinds of chaos–and I’m not even talking about the level of chaos that ensues in my brain when the Boy works from home. I’m talking two-hour one-way commutes for people who have to be at their place of work. I’m talking about a friend of mine who doesn’t have a car and has had to cash out $50-70 to get to work in a cab (and let’s not get started on Uber surge pricing).

This means commuters are singing some sad tunes–so here’s another track to add to the playlist:

MBTA

(sung to the tune of “YMCA“)

Commuters, you will just have to wait

Commuters, your train is gonna be late

Commuters, there’s not much we can do

Our very old trains cannot get through

Commuters, train 401 has a glitch

Commuters, the problem is a bad switch

Commuters, for an hour we’ll be stuck

Or even more if we have back luck

(bump! bump! bump! bump! bum!)

There’s a delay on the MBTA!

There’s a delay on the MBTA

We have just too much snow

and the train cannot go

We think this winter really blows

MBTA!

It’s Blizzardelic!

27 Jan

Well, the Blizzard of 2015 is here, and I thought it appropriate to put together a little parody.

Sung to the tune of “Riders on the Storm” by The Doors, it’s “Riding out the Storm.” Enjoy!

 

Riding out the storm

Riding out the storm

Into this house we’ll stay

Hunkered down no other way

Watch the inches pile up

Got two feet before we sup

Riding out the storm

 

There’s a snowbank on my street

I will climb it with my feet

It’s at least ten feet tall

In an hour that will be small

At the top you’ll crown me king

Lousy wind, can’t hear me sing

Snowbank on my street, yeah

 

Girl, you gotta shovel now

Girl, you gotta shovel now

I know you’ve got no plow

So you gotta shovel now

Else the piles will be too deep

And the postman he will weep

Gotta shovel now, yeah

 

Riding out the storm

Riding out the storm

Into this house we’ll stay

Hunkered down no other way

Watch the inches pile up

Got two feet before we sup

Riding out the storm

 

Riding out the storm

Riding out the storm

Riding out the storm

Riding out the storm

Riding out the storm

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